ADHD Brain and Communication Challenges: Finding Our Flow in Conversations
Communication as an adult with ADHD can feel like navigating a labyrinth—it’s easy to lose track of details, jump between topics, or struggle to recall that one key point that just made sense a minute ago. If you've ever felt like you have the big picture down but can’t remember the details when asked, you’re not alone. Communication challenges with ADHD are real, and as women who discovered ADHD later in life, understanding these nuances is essential for us.
In our recent podcast episode, ADHD Brain and Communication Challenges: Tips for Having Better Conversations, we dove deep into the highs and lows of ADHD communication. From memory recall struggles to finding the right words, here’s what we’ve learned (and are still learning!) about making communication work for us.
ADHD and Communication: Why It’s Complicated
If you find yourself blanking on details, fumbling for words, or talking in rapid-fire bursts when you’re excited, there’s a good chance ADHD has a role in it. We often operate in a world that values precise, step-by-step communication, but ADHD brains don’t naturally work that way. Our working memory, which helps us hold information temporarily to complete tasks, can be tricky. It’s common to feel like we’ve got the “whole big picture,” yet struggle to recall specifics when needed. As we said in the episode,
“There’s this whole big picture that I get, and then someone says, ‘So what were the details?’ and I just draw a blank.”
This disconnect between what we know and what we’re able to communicate can make conversations challenging, especially with neurotypical friends, family members, or colleagues who don’t face the same issues. But these challenges don’t mean we’re poor communicators; they just mean we have our own unique way of expressing ourselves.
Working with ADHD Communication: Memory Recall and Verbal Skills
Understanding our communication style is the first step to managing it better. With ADHD, memory recall isn’t always easy—especially for details we don’t feel we “need” once we have the big picture. This working memory challenge can be frustrating, especially when we’re in professional settings or trying to make an important point. Sometimes, it even makes us feel like we have to over-explain ourselves, just to “prove” we understand what’s going on. But here’s the truth:
“If we feel we have to prove ourselves, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the paradigm we’re in. We’re under no obligation to prove ourselves to anyone else.”
Instead of trying to fit into typical communication molds, we can lean into our strengths. Here are a few strategies that can make conversations easier and more enjoyable:
Accept the Big-Picture Mindset: ADHD brains are wired to see connections and patterns, often leaping to conclusions that might take others more time to understand. Embrace this as a strength! When sharing an idea, start with the big picture to provide context, then move into details if needed.
Use Memory Cues: Creating visual or physical cues can help with memory recall. For instance, jotting down main points before a conversation or making a quick diagram can help you retrieve key information more smoothly.
Practice Self-Compassion: ADHD can make us feel like we’re “bad” communicators, but it’s not about good or bad—it’s about adapting. Acknowledge that your brain works differently, and remember that needing to repeat yourself or clarify isn’t a flaw. As we discussed in the episode, self-compassion can turn frustrating moments into growth opportunities.
Managing Conversations with ADHD: Tips for Real Life
One of the challenges we face with ADHD communication is talking too quickly or switching topics mid-conversation. If you’ve ever felt that you talk “too much” or worry about coming across as “scatterbrained,” these strategies might help.
Practice Pausing and Reflecting
For many of us, excitement can lead to a rush of words and ideas. Taking a brief pause to gather thoughts or to gauge the listener’s reactions can help you feel more grounded. In the podcast, we mentioned how, when conversations are important, “self-awareness and self-compassion go a long way.” So, allow yourself time to pause and breathe. It can make a big difference in how your ideas are received.Communicate Context First
If you’re someone who tends to dive into stories or ideas with a lot of enthusiasm, it can help to give a quick “big picture” summary first. This way, the listener has a roadmap of where you’re going, making it easier for them to follow along, even if you veer into details or add tangents.Invite Interaction
Many of us find conversations flow better when they’re interactive. Asking questions like, “Does that make sense?” or “Have you experienced this too?” can create a back-and-forth that makes the conversation feel more balanced.
Redefining Our Communication Style with ADHD Awareness
One of the most freeing parts of embracing ADHD awareness is realizing that we don’t need to communicate exactly like everyone else. Neurodiverse communication brings richness and depth—qualities that make interactions more dynamic. If you feel misunderstood or pressured to communicate “better,” remember that authenticity matters more than perfection.
The ADHD brain may come with communication quirks, but these quirks also bring warmth, creativity, and connection. Embracing our unique communication style can improve our relationships and make it easier to navigate conversations with confidence.
Call to Action
Want to dive deeper into the art of ADHD communication? Listen to ADHD Brain and Communication Challenges: Tips for Having Better Conversations. We go into everything from working memory quirks to strategies for finding your communication groove. Whether you’re an ADHD-er learning to navigate conversations or just looking for a fresh perspective, tune in to hear us share the highs, lows, and humor of ADHD communication.
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