The holidays can be an amazing time of year—sparkling lights, festive gatherings, cozy vibes—but let’s be real: for ADHD-ers, they can also feel like a relentless marathon. Between the planning, social expectations, and energy management, it’s easy to lose sight of the joy we’re actually chasing.

If you’re someone who discovered your ADHD diagnosis later in life, you might be noticing how much this season challenges your brain. The good news? There are ways to make it easier and we discuss it in our latest podcast episode of ADHD: Women Exploring the Neuroverse. Keep reading for some of the insights we share.

The Holidays Can Feel More Overwhelming for ADHD-ers

Let’s start with this: planning in your head is way easier than actually doing the thing. Sound familiar? As Rachael said in our podcast episode,

"Planning in our head doesn't require much energy at all, but when you're actually putting it together, it’s going to require energy."

The tricky part is that ADHD brains often get a dopamine hit from making all those big plans in the first place. But when it comes to execution? That’s where the energy drain kicks in, and suddenly those “perfect” plans feel impossible to pull off.

Setting Realistic Expectations

A huge part of surviving the holidays with ADHD is adjusting your expectations. We’ve all been there—stacking the calendar with back-to-back gatherings, meals, and activities because it all sounds amazing. But here’s the thing: if you’re spending all your energy just trying to keep up, you’re likely missing the joy you’re actually looking for.

"Being highly capable can be its own trap because you expect yourself to keep up with what you’ve done before, even when your circumstances have changed."

This year, give yourself permission to scale back. Focus on what truly matters to you and your family. Instead of trying to do it all, ask yourself:

• What do I actually want to get out of this holiday season?

• What are the moments that bring me the most joy?

• How much energy can I realistically invest?

Tools to Manage Overstimulation and Social Anxiety

Holiday gatherings can be tough for ADHD-ers, especially when overstimulation and social anxiety come into play. Whether it’s the noise, the small talk, or just the sheer number of people, these environments can leave us feeling drained and frazzled.

Here are a few tips to help:

1. Create an exit strategy: Let yourself step away when needed, whether it’s for a quick breather outside or a quiet moment in another room.

2. Set time limits: Decide ahead of time how long you want to stay at an event. It’s okay to leave early!

3. Bring a sensory toolkit: Noise-canceling headphones, fidget tools, or even a cozy sweater can help ground you when things feel overwhelming.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a necessity, especially during the holidays. Without it, burnout is almost guaranteed. As Rachael put it,

"What we want out of the holidays isn’t just the dopamine hit—it’s the joy, the connection, and the shared experiences with the people we love."

To keep your energy balanced:

• Schedule downtime into your calendar, just like you would any other event.

• Simplify traditions if they feel like too much this year. (Store-bought cookies can be just as festive!)

• Remind yourself that it’s okay to say no.

The Holiday Magic You’re Looking For

At the end of the day, the magic of the holidays isn’t in doing everything perfectly—it’s in creating moments that truly matter to you. Whether it’s laughing with your family over a simple meal, sneaking in a solo movie night, or just taking a long nap after a party, let those moments be your priority. Listen to the full episode for more.

"The holiday magic we seek isn’t in doing it all; it’s in slowing down and creating moments that truly matter."

So, here’s your reminder: give yourself grace this holiday season. Simplify where you can, embrace the joy where it finds you, and don’t forget to take care of yourself.

Wishing you a season filled with joy, balance, and all the cozy vibes!